MIL is buying my baby toys and clothes
Thunder
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Friday, 23rd of July 2010 03:00:41 PM
from garage sales and second hand stores. It is our first baby, and l know Thunder she is just trying to help us since we do not have heaps of money, but how Registered User do l tell her to stop buying crap? She never asked what type of toys i will Joined: Monday, 26th of April 2010, 03:38:58 be allowing for my children, or how l plan to dress them.
I'd Posts: 941 like to dress and raise my own child. She had her chance and it makes me Viewed 11131 times sick when she'd rather give her grandchild used crap from someone else is
baby than spend a couple extra bucks to give the baby something new to
wear or play with. She even bought used burp cloths?!
l told
her that all l needed from a garage sale would be a gate for the stairs
and other safety equipment, like corner guards and cabinet locks. She did
not listen. She just went out and bought ''clothes that looked unused''
:(
Help?
I am not spoiled, thank you, l just do not like
it when people are cheap with family members. I'd never give someone USED
clothes for a baby shower gift. Who the hell does that? To me, that is
like giving someone your old clothes for their birthday!
Panda (or Panda Bear)
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Saturday, 24th of July 2010 04:17:39 PM
at least she is BUYING them. my mil STEALS used, donated stuff Panda (or Panda Bear) from a homeless shelter she works at! i was appalled & my husband was too. Registered User but because of her poor background he felt bad saying something so we just Joined: Tuesday, 8th of June 2010, 14:29:03 redonated the stuff. however, if there is no sensitive issue, i would say Posts: 1526 something, like you don't want ur baby in used clothes when you don't know Viewed 19194 times where they're coming from. i have no problem w/ some clothing from
conseignment shops, but i don't think i'd ever buy something from the
salvation army or anything. i don't think it is a rediculous request.
Dotti
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Sunday, 25th of July 2010 08:34:11 PM
Hee hee hee.. since this is ur FIRST baby I can understand, & Dotti even relate, to ur post. But TRUST ME when I say that in a few years, Registered User after having spent a small fortune on kids clothes & toys that wind up Joined: Tuesday, 15th of June 2010, 20:11:09 stained & destroyed, you will be WELCOMING ur MIL is generous gifts. I Posts: 1836 know it doesn't seem that way now since ur still in the ''everything has Viewed 17450 times to be absolutely perfect for my sweet little angel'' phase, but trust me.
One day you will look back & think how silly this was. Good luck! =;o)
chiquita
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Monday, 26th of July 2010 02:52:22 AM
well, i know it sucks to get stuff u dont' want, but let her chiquita have her thrills of thinking she spoiling him u know. I know people have Registered User gotten me similar things, but I just use what I do like, and put the rest Joined: Sunday, 13th of June 2010, 05:01:50 away, I will donate it or try to sell to a baby store that buys clothing Posts: 1458 and things back. I think its nice she is trying to be involved. Viewed 1246 times
skeeter :)
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Tuesday, 27th of July 2010 03:52:44 PM
Ok let me just say my grandmother does the exact same thing & I skeeter :) know how you feel. Except fot the safety things. I'd rather have those Registered User bought new. I want my new baby to have new things. Joined: Tuesday, 15th of June 2010, 09:24:51 Posts: 2010 My mother in law does try to give me my husbands old toys though. They Viewed 12229 times also tried to give me his crib, & he is 25 years old.
As for ur mother in law just tell her to give you the money instead or
tell her exactly what you need from where. Or just go shopping with her &
whenever she ask you if you like something at a garage sell tell her no.
To everything.
Tokyo Rose
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Wednesday, 28th of July 2010 07:18:05 AM
How about saying this: Tokyo Rose ''Please don't buy anymore stuff for our baby, as I am too selfish to Registered User accept you kindess with grace and dignity. If out baby needs something we Joined: Monday, 10th of May 2010, 18:17:33 will gladly go without if it isn't brand new, as we're too good for used Posts: 702 items.'' Viewed 16407 times
Sheesh. My husband and I do have the means to buy our son everything
brand new if we wanted, but we accept hand-me-downs gladly. Babies grow
so quickly out of things, that their clothing and other expenses get
rather expensive.
giggle kitten
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Thursday, 29th of July 2010 12:20:48 PM
umm she is buying you this for ur baby shower or for ur already giggle kitten born baby??? Registered User Joined: Friday, 11th of June 2010, 16:53:12 The first 3 months when baby is skin is very delicate i only dressed her Posts: 1569 in new clothes washed in baby detergent, however once i saw how fast she Viewed 4084 times goes through the clothes we decided second-hand is the way to go. first of
all how many times can a baby wear a onsie?? they usually grow out of the
small sizes SOOO FAST. Secondly, you wash it, so it is not like you have
to put it on dirty.
Lastly, if you just don't like it, give it away. I received a couple of
things from second-hand stores from my MIL that i didn't like because they
were polyester- i only use cotton- so i gave them away, no big deal.
in terms of dressing the baby yourself, try not to see the baby as a
fashion accessory. Yes, use her pretty outfits when you go out, but what
is the big deal of wearing second hand around the house or at the park
where they ruin their clothes anyway.
It is really not such a terrible thing. Think of all the mothers who don't
have enough clothes for their babies or who have to make their own or carry
them around half naked. Really, ur situation is not that dire. unless you
compare yourself with ridiculously extravagant people like JLo.
BaBy-ChEeKs
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Friday, 30th of July 2010 08:25:58 PM
accept it all and then put it away and only use it when she BaBy-ChEeKs comes round then as soon as she goes change the kid and swap the toys Registered User Joined: Thursday, 27th of May 2010, 10:40:39 Posts: 1883 Viewed 11232 times
Super Angel
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Saturday, 31st of July 2010 06:57:34 AM
either be honest with her or just say thank you and be grateful Super Angel when she brings you stuff. Use only what you want. Its really the thought Registered User that counts. My MIL doesn't do anything for us. Joined: Sunday, 6th of June 2010, 20:39:43 Posts: 1812 Viewed 5402 times
nihole
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Sunday, 1st of August 2010 12:10:18 PM
You don't get to choose the gifts you get. If you don't like nihole them, give them away. I am with the other responders about the clothes. Registered User Babies outgrow them so fast that even the used ones are in good condition. Joined: Tuesday, 27th of April 2010, 13:31:05 It actually makes me sad that my daughter hardly wore so many of her Posts: 592 outfits. Viewed 11194 times
I personally don't like getting toys as gifts because I am very choosy
about what king of materials are in my daughters toys. Leaded paint,
phthalates, polycarbonates--these are all things that concern me so I seek
out toys made without these things. If my mother in law kept giving me
toys, I might explain this to her so that she can have a better
understanding of my preference for getting the toys myself. But if I
still get toys that I don't want, I would just give them away. I don't
like to her anyone is feelings.
Bergy! :P
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Monday, 2nd of August 2010 09:38:32 AM
well my mother is working two jobs & trying to get by with Bergy! :P pennies. BUT my son (6 months old now) is her first grandchild.. Registered User Joined: Tuesday, 4th of May 2010, 17:06:05 From birth to this day, I did not buy my child NOT ONE TOY OR CLOTHES. My Posts: 90 mother does all that, just like ur M.I.L. From garage sales, thrifth Viewed 6995 times stores, good will, yard sales.. Yeah, everything is used, but the clothes
you can wash in hot water & toys you could bleach & wash before giving it
to him..
I understand that you are trying to do everything ur way, but you have to
understand her also. Being a grandparent must be a wonderful feeling, &
most grandparents that I know says I LOVE MY GRANDCHILD as much as my own
child, maybe more.
YOu should be thankful to have her. The stuff she buys may be CRAP to you,
but she feels as if she is making her grandson happy.. Thats all that
matters..
I am sure, if she finds safety equipment from garage sales, she will go
ahead & buy those also.
BUt you should not stress on these things.. MY son hates his brand new
toys & chooses to play with used thrifth store items. I dont know why, but
it works for me!
There are so many people out there with nothing at all. So many babies
with not toys, no clothes, no diapers.
even if you think the CRAP she buys is not good enough for ur baby, put it
away.. & only bring it out when ur MIL is around.. ITS THE TOUGTH THAT
COUNTS!..
Good luck :O
Sweetums
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Tuesday, 3rd of August 2010 02:12:51 PM
Ungrateful much??? You aren't obligated to use them. So, do Sweetums you think she is doing it to offend you or upset you? Registered User I am sure she has tons of money too, huh? Joined: Saturday, 8th of May 2010, 00:54:59 I mean, how dare she buy used clothes that look unused!! Posts: 1939 Doesn't she know that you & the baby are too good for those kinds of Viewed 3665 times things?
I know first hand what you are dealing with. Except I welcome it. Ya, my
mom doesn't always get great looking clothes. So..I donate them back to a
thrift store. But I would never tell my mom to stop buying used clothes.
If anything, she gets more enjoyment out of it than I do! She loves to
shop around for good deals & cute clothes.
Spoiled Brat is what I say. If you don't like the stuff, don't use it.
But you shouldn't look a gift horse in the mouth. Isn't it the thought
that counts???
TAKUUN
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Wednesday, 4th of August 2010 01:04:15 AM
Just accept her gift, use what you want and store the rest TAKUUN away. There is nothing wrong with second hand clothing or baby toys. Most Registered User baby things that people sell at garage sales are barely used. Joined: Friday, 23rd of April 2010, 18:14:09 Posts: 1779 My husband makes six figures and we still will occassionally pick up a Viewed 16932 times cute outfit or baby item at a consignment store. Why not?
Sounds like your MIL is just trying to help.
Sassy Pants
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Thursday, 5th of August 2010 09:56:20 AM
Your baby won't care whether the clothes it wears are used or Sassy Pants not, or how trendy they are. And the first time your baby pukes on a burp Registered User cloth it will be used, won't it? I am with your MIL on this one - you're Joined: Thursday, 29th of April 2010, 20:53:55 being a real snob here. Take the money you'd have spent on fancy label Posts: 1104 brand new ''crap'' and put it in your baby is college fund. Viewed 12868 times
Hazle
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Friday, 6th of August 2010 04:00:25 AM
''Help?'' Hazle Registered User Thank her; be grateful she cares, & stop moaning. Good lord. Joined: Sunday, 13th of June 2010, 00:08:31 Posts: 1988 ''She even bought used burp cloths?!'' Viewed 16737 times
Er, yeah. The horror!
You sound wildly unrealistic. If you ''don't have heaps of money,'' my
guess is that by the time baby is half a year old, you will be thrilled to
get every bag of garage sale whatever she brings you.
Only people insecure about their class status have a problem with used
stuff.
re. ''I am not spoiled, thank you, I just don't like it when people are
cheap with family members.'' Okay, have it ur way. You're not ''spoiled.''
You're an ''ungrateful brat.''
Bottom line: she is going out & purchasing gifts for you & her
grandchild-to-be, & you are moaning about it. That is pathetic.
Nguyenin'
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Saturday, 7th of August 2010 02:44:13 PM
You even say that they are clothes that look unused.so what is Nguyenin' the problem???? They will look VERY used in no time at all!!! Babies are Registered User VERY messy, you will be changing ur baby is clothes several times each day Joined: Wednesday, 19th of May 2010, 00:34:34 due to slobber, spit-up, & WORSE. Buy some cute, pricey clothes yourself Posts: 519 to wear when you take baby out. It isn't really practical to have them in Viewed 785 times ''nice'' clothes all day. Your baby doesn't have to wear things you don't
like.tell ur MIL thanks & pick & choose what you will put baby in. You
really should buy the important things like safety equipment NEW & get ur
less important items from garage sales.
EDIT: You will get A LOT of clothes that aren't ur ''style'' for ur baby.
People love to buy clothes for babies that they think are cute. You just
have to get used to this.say ''thanks maybe take their pic in it to send
to great- aunt- whoever- gave- the- ugly- outfit, put the outfit away, &
move on.
Curly Temple
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Sunday, 8th of August 2010 02:00:20 PM
You have two choices. You could either be honest with her & Curly Temple let her know how you feel in a nice way or you could just be grateful & Registered User accept her generosity, even if it is from garage sales & used clothes. If Joined: Monday, 17th of May 2010, 09:06:45 you already spoke to her & she didnt listen then just let it be. I dont Posts: 298 think its really worth creating tension over since she is just trying to Viewed 6195 times be helpful & she may wind up with her feelings hurt.
Just because she gives you this stuff doesnt mean you have to use it
either. You could go an donate it to a family who could use it or hold on
to it & have a garage sale of ur own one day.
My MIL just sent a package from Walmart.com containing an outfit for my
soon to be son. It is not something I would ever pick out for him on my
own or even really want him to wear, but I appreciate it anyway & when she
visits I will make sure to have him in it. LOL
I am not trying to make you feel bad, but there are so many people who
literally have nothing & while thats not really ur problem I guess maybe
it may help for you to put things into perspective. Luckily you are one
of the fortunate ones who is child is grandmother is alive & will be part
of their life. Not everyone has that, especially one who buys them gifts
& wants to help.
sexypoohbie
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Monday, 9th of August 2010 01:42:59 AM
My MIL did the EXACT same thing - & the crap she bought is sexypoohbie still just sitting in the cupboard away from eye-sight. The stuff just Registered User never came out & one day when I get around to it, it will be going to a Joined: Sunday, 30th of May 2010, 21:23:24 charity & they can decide if they want it or not. Posts: 532 Viewed 8810 times She will probably buy new things as presents once the baby is born & for
birthdays etc so don't write her off as a cheap-skate just yet.
Just don't let this turn into a argument. You've already told her you
don't need the crap, so if she still decides to waste her money, no-one
can blame it on you.
Dee-Dee
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Tuesday, 10th of August 2010 03:26:31 AM
Just say to her its your first baby and u would like to buy new Dee-Dee stuff and you are grateful but you arent keen on using the used clothes. Registered User she needs to step away and let you and your husband buy the clothes. Joined: Monday, 17th of May 2010, 06:57:03 People gave me used things but i just put him in a bag for charity as Posts: 1144 wanted to buy new Viewed 15475 times
Sweet N' Short
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Wednesday, 11th of August 2010 02:26:22 PM
if you dont appreciate it then tell her your to good for the Sweet N' Short things she is getting so she wont waste her money. Registered User Joined: Sunday, 13th of June 2010, 23:06:40 Posts: 1315 Viewed 17525 times
Cuddlebear
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Thursday, 12th of August 2010 12:43:05 AM
I think you sound like a spoiled brat. ''she'd rather give her Cuddlebear grandchild used crap from someone else is baby than spend a couple extra Registered User bucks to give the baby something new to wear or play with'' Who cares if Joined: Thursday, 27th of May 2010, 10:58:54 it is used? If you don't like it, donate it to a charity that will give Posts: 518 it to someone who will appreciate it. Viewed 9150 times
**EDIT** Who said anything about giving used items for a baby shower?!
Shanabella
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Friday, 13th of August 2010 12:43:29 PM
Personally i would rather buy the safety equipment brand new & Shanabella could really care less about used items for clothes or toys. Just put the Registered User toys in bleach & clean them. And as for the clothes do you have any idea Joined: Thursday, 10th of June 2010, 20:37:06 how many time a baby spits up in a day? Those new clothes do not make it Posts: 236 past the first couple of hours. Thats ur mother in law & she has every Viewed 12713 times right to spoil her grand child. You should welcome this not dismiss this.
A lot of people do not have this type of support. My mother in law has
helped me out loads. As we do not have heaps of money ether. I also have
two other children & am 28 weeks today. Lighten up she means well & you
are taking this out of context!
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